The bench overlooks Cowell’s beach and is located at the parking lot near the entrance of the Wharf.  For those that need an exact address, I think this will put you within 100 feet if you use Google maps: 49B Municipal Wharf, Santa Cruz, CA.

The beach is special because the family has a lot of memories from here.  Day On The Beach with the Handicapped Scuba Association took place at Cowell’s Beach.

David and I used to surf there a lot when we were young teenagers.  The picture to the left is David when he was about 15 and it is shot against the foundation pillars of the Dream Inn hotel at Cowell’s beach.  We used to spend time sun tanning there and he would practice his maneuvers for tandem surfing.

Not far from there, David and I worked at the Boardwalk.  He was a ride operator and had a lot of fun with his co-workers.  They played a lot of jokes and they shot each other with whipping cream.  He was a popular guy.

If anybody has any stories about the family and the significance of Cowell’s beach, please leave a comment below.

Left – A shot of David opening a present at Christmas.  He looks three and a half years old.  That’s me (John) in the background, about one and half, and my sister (Cathryn) to the right (almost five years old).

It never ceases to amaze me about what a terrible thing it was that happened over the summer.  I think about them every day and find myself comparing everything to them.  For example, if I come across something that I wrote before July, I want to go back and tell myself, “Hey, this was a time when you could have dropped everything and gone to see them.”  I really miss them and it still hasn’t sunk in – everything that has happened.

Sometimes, I would only see them twice a year, and definitely not at Christmas time.  They were always on a trip.  I think resorts offer steep discounts (for the holidays) and so David would always try to take advantage of that by taking a group or taking his family.  Because they were always gone at Christmas, this has been a normal holiday, although Thanksgiving was hard.

I remember many years ago, when Luke was 6 and we were having Thanksgiving at my parents house.  I wanted to do Luke a favor by helping serve him food, but he got mad at me and started crying, “I wanted to do it myself!”  I tried to tell him that I was just being polite by helping him – he sort of bought it, but he still wanted to get his own food.  He was very independent!

Do any of you have memories of the Houghton family to share?

As 2011 comes to an end, I have been trying to decide how to write my Christmas letter!  So much has happened in this year, starting last January I said my farewell to my baby sister Nancy as she gave up her fight with this earthly life, a week later my job ended and I found myself retired with much time on my hands.  I was starting to look at my future and what I should do with the rest of my life, or at least the rest of the year.  In February my dear friend and first boss in Nevada County Maggie Smith passed from this life,  again leaving a question about life’s purposes and circumstances.  I was considering a possible move, to get closer to family and David talked to me about a possible change to moving to their property in Baja Mexico at least a few months out of the year, a place they loved and they assured me that they would fly down and spend probably more time with me then they did living 4 hours away.  Circumstances again played in my delay from making that decision.  Mitch, Cheri, Grant and Bailey still live within an hour and a half from me and I wondered how I could move away and leave them for longer times.  Mitch is still working for Steritech and is doing very well and has expanded his area to Oregon, Washington, Idaho and Nevada as well as the northern California region.  Cheri continues with her job and home they stay busy with the many activities Grant and Bailey are involved in.  Bailey enjoys softball and is on the summer and winter leagues.  Grant is a sophmore and very involved with highschool, and enjoys spending time with his friends and is looking forward to getting his driver’s license next spring.

On July 7th, life dealt a blow that has changed our lives forever when we lost our David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan in a tragic airplane crash.  Daily I ask myself why and have to call upon my faith and trust in God to find a peace that allows me to continue to count my blessing and cherish the love that they shared with me!  I miss them and they are constantly in my thoughts.  As Christmas comes I find myself thinking more about Gods love and I am so thankful for all of the angels he has sent to love and comfort me.  Their many friends shared their love in each picture and each gesture they did when they put together the celebration of the four lives and they continue to remember and support in their sharing.  I have been blessed with many new friends and the renewal of old friendships.   I find that music and songs bring peace and help me focus on this love, the friends and family that are here to support and care so lovingly.  Their lives were so full of adventure and wonderful moments, they touched so many where ever they were.  Friends they had many and enemies none!  This boys knew of love and peace and are a big part of my Christmas picture this year.  My wishes are for us all to continue to build memories, live life to the fullest and share your love because  we never know when that is what we will have left. Thank you to all of you my angels and we all wish you Peace and love this holiday season and in the New year.

I knew my brother for 43 years and I miss him the most.  You could say I spent more time with him than any other person in my life.  I was with him all through my childhood.  In going through his things, my family found his little red jacket from when he was a child.  In the right side, it has a hole in the pocket for his right hand because it wore through.  When I saw the jacket last week, I broke down and was inconsolable.

Pictured above looks like a picture of us in Italy or France (I’m not sure) looks like 1979 or 1980.  Sorry that the photo is black and white – our jackets are red – I had one just like his but smaller.  David in the middle, me on the left, my dad on the upper left and my sister on the right.  None of us picture perfect, but that was David in the jacket he wore with us all through Europe.  He wore the jacket 1976 – 1980 and we toured Europe many, many times per year like that.  I spent a lot of time, shoulder-to-shoulder with him as we went though Europe, touring in our white family car.  Others of my family feel the same way and enjoy holding the jacket when we feel like we want to be near him.

We wept bitterly when we found the jacket that he had kept since he was a boy.  In some ways, I can still hear his voice.  It wasn’t long ago that he was just saying “hi” to me.  DeDe had a higher voice and she was always asking how things were going, especially with the baby.  Luke always had a story, full of interesting and accurate facts, with his voice inflected up at the end of his sentences, but in the last factual sentence, he would end it down (with a subtle sense of authority).  Ryan was sometimes showing me that he was better than I, so we traded friendly barbs.  Pretty confident for a 10 year old.  Ryan loved babies most of all.  He loved my daughter more than life itself.  I really miss them…

Click Here to Read Tribute On Handicapped Scuba Association Site

I did not sleep real well last night, “Tossing and Turning” and yet I would not let myself get up because I know I need to sleep!  So as I layed there I thought and thought and then realized that my being was guiding me yet again.  I dozed for a short while and when I woke realized that I needed to write another message for my blog friends and share yet another story about this process of grief.  I continue to realize that I am not alone in this process and all of you that are reading this have your own stories of grief and of where you are today.  That is why I am calling this “Moving On”, and will share part of me.

People ask me how I am!  I respond ok, but have my moments!  They ask me what I have been doing this past two months! I guess I could ask this of each of you too!  This story may bring back the tears, but I have come to know and realize how tears are ok, they help to relieve and release the pain.

For almost a month I was here in DeDe, David, Luke and Ryans home.  Often I sat here feeling them and remembering.  Sometimes I pretended it was all a dream, but each day the reality sank in.  I went home for a few days and felt lost and needed to return to these rooms so full of them.  It has been healing for me, and to be honest I don’t think I will ever be totally emotionally well again.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to share their home while learning to live again without them.  But now we are all moving on…each new day something takes us away from this sad place of missing and remembering. We have been going through their lives by sorting their belongings, every room holds some special item that one of them lived with, whether it be in the kitchen and the dishes they ate from, or the food in the cupboards (they did eat healthy), looking out the window and seeing life outside the house and knowing that this was view they saw each day.  In the bathroom seeing their toothbrushes or looking at the bathtub you know they used…I can still hear the shower running early each morning.  The boys room and their individual treasures, legos so many sets, magic cards, pokemon, dinosaurs, books and knowing that these were touched by them and hours of enjoyment they shared with their friends or quietly alone.

The clothes in their closets or dresser drawers, I smell them and can still see them wearing them.  Sorting socks for a family of four was a task of its own, but important to me.  David’s workboots his dirty work jacket, I couldn’t move them from the place he left them.  DeDe’s organization of so many aspects of the house surprised me many times.  How did she ever find the time to keep up with photo albums (she did have lots and lots of loose pictures and slides), for the family, and each of the boys individually.  Their love of their life almost shouts from the walls, yet it is in a comforting way.

We ask ourselves what are we going to do with all of this, their belongings the items that were them an important to them, and we don’t really have an answer and take each day at a time.  You feel you don’t want to throw anything out whether it be a paper or drawing that one of the boys did and DeDe saved for them. Or one of their pieces of art, a part of them they left in their creations.   But you also realize that we none of us have room to store everything even though it was a part of them.  This is where the pain in letting go really re-enters our days.

I just finished reading the book “The Long Night of Mourning” by Janis Ost Ford (A Santa Cruz resident that wrote about her loss of her mother and her companion, her brother, his wife and their 4 month old baby girl on the Alaska Airline crash in 2000.)  Thank you Janis for gifting copies of this book to us during this time of our grieving.  In the back of the book was a cd with a few songs on it.  One I want to share here the words:

“Light up the Sky, by Jessica Baron Turner

I, heard you laugh close to the end, when all your good-byes were forever
Welcoming fate into your arms, and holding her close as if she were your lover

Chorus:  Long after the stars go out, Long after they die
Long after the stars go out, they light up the sky

Places in town are all closing down, except for the weary survivors
But the music you made remains in our hearts, We’re listening now, and will listen forever.

Chorus:

Now you are gone, and we’ve all moved on,  But every last friend still remembers
The joy in your voice, that spark in your eyes, You’re lighting the past like some eternal ember

Chorus:  Long after the stars go out, Long after they die
Long after the stars go out, they light up the sky

Thank you Jessica for your beautiful words and song.

As we all move on WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER and CONTINUE TO LOVE!

There are so many people who shared so many special parts of their lives.  I talked to Jeff Nordahl who went with David to La Paz in 2006.  I went with David on the same trip in the late 90s and he said that one of the few things left on his “bucket list” (things you want to do before you die) was to see a Whale Shark.  I didn’t know this until Saturday, but David checked off this item with Jeff and company in 2006.  Jeff writes:

Dave took the photo (above) with his new camera and housing.  The Whale Shark appeared out of nowhere just before we were about to descend at El Bajo to view hammerheads.  He circled us for 30 minutes.  He was just as curious about us as we were of him/her.  This was the first whale shark Dave had witnessed, and he was really thrilled about it.  Afterwards, we just floated on the surface for about 30 minutes waiting for the boat to pick us up – and we all were the happiest people on earth while we floated and reflected on what had just happened.

Incredible day, and no better people to share it with (Dave and our group)!

Thanks for sharing, Jeff.  More stuff coming in future posts, including a song from the family’s friends Ron and Song Goodman.

For Luke, let me think.  Hmmm.  I was in Middle School, just like Luke, when I was 12.  I got beyond the show-off stuff but I still loved girls.  I remember being intellectually curious.  I think Luke liked being labeled as smart.  He spent a lot of time reading and learning new things and he frequently offered “alternative viewpoints” for his teachers in class.  Many of his teachers commented that Luke kept them on their toes.  He traveled, saw so many things and did so many things that he really knew a lot.  I remember last month, I was at one of his friend’s house and there were some older kids there that went on the Bonaire trip.  One was in high school and the other in college and they both said Luke was “whip” smart.  He had already finished reading Dune at a young age.  I remember I tried reading Dune in college and didn’t make it all the way through.  Luke truly was a smart kid.

Picture left of Ryan and Luke riding horses in Mexico.  They got to do a lot of things and they were happy to be with us.  While we don’t have a camp fire to tell stories around, we do have this blog and the ability to submit comments.  Please keep their memories alive with your stories.